My worth is connected to how someone else feels about me. (Genesis 29:31-34)
Leah had always felt invisible. Maybe a bit overweight, squinty eyes, an overbite, awkward. People looked right past her to gawk at her gorgeous little sister, Rachel. Ever since high heels replaced Barbie dolls, Rachel’s social calendar had been full and big sister had resigned herself to the fact that she would never be anyone’s first choice. But then dashing Jacob showed up and her heart turned inside out. Of course, Jacob was crazy about Rachel (who wasn’t?), but Dad pulled an underhanded switcheroo and Leah ended up in the bridal chamber instead. She prayed all night that marriage would change Jacob’s mind, but it didn’t. She was not who Jacob wanted. She was not who anyone wanted. Maybe she was even invisible to God.
But then she had a baby boy. “Surely my husband will love me now,” she thought. Nope. Three more babies, and each time hot tears stung Leah’s eyes as Jacob smiled at the baby, nodded to her, and walked back to Rachel. Leah had given him all she had—and it didn’t matter. She didn’t matter. Maybe you’ve been there. You rescued, surrendered your purity, or deadened your soul hoping that someone would make you feel valuable. “Surely they’ll love me now,” you thought, but it didn’t work. You gave all you had and it didn’t matter. But guess what Leah learned? When her fourth son was born, she named him Judah, which means “praise.” She’d stopped looking to Jacob for her worth. She realized that her value was not tied to someone else’s opinion. Her worth came from the One who created her. God saw her. He valued her. And that was all that mattered.
Who are you expecting to validate your worth? If it’s anyone other than God, they will let you down.
Father, I’ve made so many mistakes trying to get love and validation from other people. But they didn’t have my best interest in mind; they only used me. Turn my heart to seek your face and find my worth only in you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.