Or how can you say…”‘Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye? Matt. 7:4

Pat waved a hand-written list in front of his pastor. “There. You can see for yourself what she’s doing. Fifteen years I’ve been putting up with this and I’ve about had it! See here, the house is a mess, she’s gained weight, she’s depressed all the time… I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I’ve laid down the law, but it doesn’t help. What’s a guy to do, Pastor?” He sat back in his chair with a satisfied grunt. Pastor Jim studied the pot-bellied man before him and sighed. “Well, Pat, I know it’s frustrating, but you can’t change her so let’s start with you. How much of the messy house is your doing? Have you gained weight since you married her? How are you adding to her depression by your attitude towards her?”

Jesus wasn’t referring only to marriage when He spoke the words of this verse, but they certainly apply. It’s so easy to see the flaws of the people we live with and if we’re not careful, we start to see the person as one big flaw. We excuse our own shortcomings and cannot see that we may be contributing to the problem. A husband is frustrated with the messy house, yet leaves a trail of empty wrappers and dirty laundry everywhere. A wife is mad that her husband won’t talk to her, yet mocked him the last time he did. We take a step toward a harmonious homelife when we accept the fact that we cannot change our spouses, but we can work on ourselves and our reactions. One person can’t fix a marriage; but one person can step out of the dysfunctional cycle and improve the atmosphere at home.

Final Thought:  Do you spend as much time working on your own negative traits as you do picking at those of other people?

Prayer: Father, I am too quick to judge other people’s flaws instead of working on my own. Help me not to major on the minors, but focus on the good qualities of this person. Help me become easier to live and work with. In Jesus’ name, Amen.