Moving Past Betrayal
Monday— When (Joseph’s) brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him… Genesis 37:4
Betrayal often begins through no fault of our own. We may think things are fine, but a storm is brewing in the heart of someone else. Joseph, young and inexperienced, had no idea how his father’s favoritism affected his older brothers. Jealousy united them until little bro was the most hated member of the family. When jealousy takes over, it’s easy to justify evil. “They deserve it,” we fume. “Who do they think they are?” Jealousy decides it’s our duty to cut the favorite down to size. That attitude can snowball, as it did with Joseph’s brothers, and lead to darker places than we ever intended to go, including betrayal.
When Judy’s well-deserved promotion was given to Terry, she began to hate her coworker. Terry had done nothing wrong, but Judy justified her hateful attitude and doctored the books to get Judy fired. Sally grew up knowing she was not the favorite. She wore hand-me-downs while her older siblings dressed in designer fashions. She internalized the message that she was inferior and spent years in prison and rehabs, letting their wrongs ruin what could have been a successful life. Joseph’s story is a grim reminder that favoritism is a breeding ground for betrayal. Even when we feel overlooked or underappreciated, it helps to remember that God sees. He knows. The favoritism of others does not have to destroy all the good God intends for our lives.
Challenge: If you’ve been the victim of favoritism, remember that God doesn’t see you that way. You’re valuable to Him.
Prayer: Father, it hurts when I’m not the favorite. But help me remember not to show favoritism myself. When I’m overlooked, help me grow from it and use it as a reminder to elevate other people who feel it too. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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Tuesday— Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. Genesis 37:5
“Guess what, guys!” Joseph’s eyes danced. “I dreamed you’re all gonna bow down to me one day! Isn’t that great?” Ah, the foolishness of youth. What did he think his family would say? Did he imagine they would like that? Sometimes our dreams aren’t as exciting to others as they are to us. “I’m gonna own this whole company some day!” Seth announced to his coworkers. Ben’s blunder was equally offensive: “I’ll be the richest member of this family before I’m 30!” Neither man realized he was setting himself up for rejection and betrayal. Sometimes it happens because we were insensitive with words or actions.
Dreams are wonderful. Without dreams, life is one long, dark, tunnel of boredom. God give us dreams, as He did with Joseph, but they are not so we can lord them over other people. A God-given dream guides us in our decisions, encourages us in our struggles, and helps us endure when it seems impossible. But we can’t expect everyone else to jump on board. It’s OUR dream, not theirs, and when we insist that other people support our dream, we may be setting ourselves up for betrayal. Joseph’s dream was 100% accurate. But the breakfast table was not the time to reveal it to jealous brothers. He played a small part in his own eventual betrayal. And if we’re betrayed, we need to take a careful look at what part we may have played in it.
Challenge: If you’ve been betrayed by someone close, part of healing is to confess your own wrongs and then forgive theirs.
Prayer: Father, you know how I’ve been hurt. But help me see my part in it so that I can look at it realistically. I let go of the anger and confess my own sin. I forgive as you’ve forgiven me and choose to heal and move on. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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Wednesday— They took him and threw him into the pit. Now the pit was empty, with no water in it. Genesis 37:24
It’s interesting that the Bible records this seemingly insignificant fact: The pit was empty with no water in it. Why does that matter? Could there be a hidden gem God wants us to uncover? The actions of Joseph’s brothers were horrifying, painful, and had lasting consequences. But they didn’t drown him. They threw him into a pit, but there was no water in it. He wasn’t dead; this wasn’t the end. Betrayal can feel like the end. Sometimes we think we’d rather be dead than face it. But as harmful as the gossip, the slander, or the rejection, we’re not dead. They didn’t kill us. And that means we still have choices. We can choose to live in bitterness and plot revenge. OR we can forgive and move on. Joseph did the latter and he changed history.
Betrayal can come in different forms, but at its core is the violation of trust. You trusted someone, loved someone, believed they cared about you and then they proved you wrong. The love of your life wasn’t. The child you raised doesn’t love you back. Your best friend abandoned you and you’re left with a gaping hole in your heart. Someone violated your trust and threw you in a pit you don’t know how to get out of. But remember—there’s no water in it. They didn’t kill you which means you have a choice. You can stay in the pit, seething, telling everyone how hurt you are, and making a home in the darkness. OR, you can follow Joseph out of it by blooming where you’re planted and preparing your heart to forgive and move on.
Challenge: If betrayal has thrown you into a pit, remember—there’s no water in it. You still have a choice whether to get out.
Prayer: Father, have I made my home in the pit someone else threw me in? Help me learn from Joseph that betrayal isn’t the end. I still have a choice and you hold me responsible for what I do with that choice. Give me strength to get out. Amen.
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Thursday— When his master heard the story his wife told him… he had him thrown into the prison… Genesis 39:19-20
You’re doing everything right. You’re making the best of it, forgiving those who betrayed you, honoring the Lord—then it happens again. You’re betrayed again! That’s what happened to Joseph. It had been bad enough that his own brothers sold him into slavery, but he’d worked hard and earned his master’s trust. Then his master’s wife came on to him and when he resisted her advances, she lied about him. He was pronounced guilty without a trial and tossed into prison for something he didn’t do. One slutty woman erased the years of respect he’d built up with his master and he was in the pit again.
Have you been there? You thought you were over the betrayal. You’d moved on, made a new life for yourself, felt God’s blessing on your honorable choices and then—WHAM! It happened again. Someone you trusted turned on you and you were pronounced guilty without cause. That’s when the devil in our ear says, “Give up. You tried doing it God’s way and look where that got you. You have a right to be bitter.” If we listen, we seal our fate. Our future, our witness, and our emotional health is sentenced to death. Joseph didn’t let that happen. Notice what verse 21 says: “God was with Joseph and showed him kindness and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.” God hadn’t abandoned Joseph; He had a bigger plan.
Challenge: What if you viewed your betrayal as part of God’s bigger plan for your life? Work with Him on it.
Prayer: Father, it’s hard to see betrayal as anything you can use, but here’s mine. I will trust you with it. You know how it hurts, but I want to follow Joseph’s example and believe you are with me. Use this for the good. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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Friday— “It was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh…” Genesis 45:8
Joseph had obviously not read Your Best Life Now or any of the other health and prosperity books flooding the market. He claimed that not only had God brought good from his bad situation, but God Himself orchestrated it! This is a tough one for us to get our heads around, but God often claims responsibility for events we call bad. (Check out Exodus 4:11, Isaiah 66:15-16, Job 1:20-21). God sees the whole picture, the beginning and the end, while we only see our corner of it. He allowed the jealousy of Joseph’s brothers to work for the good when they sold Joseph. While the event was bad, God’s plan was good.
We can handle betrayal better when we lift our eyes from the bad event to the good plan beyond it. A spouse’s betrayal led to Sophie starting a support group and meeting her new husband. A child’s betrayal led to Monica becoming an addiction counselor. A friend’s betrayal led to Dave starting a non-profit that helped thousands. The evils that happen to us aren’t random. God has a plan to use them for the bigger picture if we will cooperate. What if Joseph could only see what his brothers did and refused to move past it? He and the future nation of Israel would have perished. God allowed Joseph to face betrayal twice because He saw what He intended to do with it. His primary concern is always the bigger, eternal picture, even when it causes temporary pain. Like Joseph, we can forgive the ones who wrong us when we agree with Him that His way is best.
Challenge: We can heal from the pain of betrayal when we partner with God to see the bigger picture.
Prayer: Father, I get stuck seeing only my tiny corner of your big picture: my pain, my feelings, my rights…But you do your best work when I trust that you have a bigger picture. So I’m lifting my eyes to partner with your plan. In Jesus’ name, amen.
